Reaching out to other Rape Survivors, I’m truly Honored

In the past 2weeks I have been more open about my personal battles than I have been in my entire life. I have Private Practice to thank for that as it is because of the Rape story portrayed through the character Charlotte King played by KaDee Strickland that I have now come forward about my own rape experience. For those people who are struggling with their own sexual abuse and rape attacks, I would like to share my rape story so you know it's okay to come forward and that it is not our fault!
It started when I was 21years old and I was in town with my friends at nighttime. I'm considered an alcoholic and for that one night I decided to drink because I had a disagreement with a friend. I drunk way too much and walked off by myself. I saw this guy and though he looked cute. He took me for a walk and he wanted to sleep with me. I was drunk and said yes but before anything happened I changed my mind. I said 'no' millions of times but he didn't listen to me. Even when I cried and cried, he still didn't listen. After he raped me, I got up and tried to get away from him. Eventually I managed to get back to my friends and all I wanted to do was go home. That night I hardly slept and the next day I woke up with bad memories of what happened that night. I still do sometimes. It's been over a year to 18months now, and it was because of Private Practice I have opened up about it. I tried to pretend it never happened just like Charlotte (Played by KaDee Strickland) is off Private Practice.

After I had posted this story on RAINN, I received so many messages from survivors who I won’t mention, that were reaching out for help from me and wanting to know how they can so brave like me. At first I was overwhelmed at how many responses I had gotten via messages but once I started to read their stories about what they had to say, I was emotionally moved and honored that they felt open to talk to me. This is something I believe I will accomplish out of my horrible attack and that is to help others come forward and know that we can’t let the attackers destroy who we are as people. I know for one that it won’t define who I am as a person because I am so much stronger and better than that creep who tried to ruin my life. For so long I have been feeling like a victim and now I’m not, I’m a survivor and a proud one at that.

I have to say watching Private Practice’s last episode 4x07 of Charlotte’s Attack broke me down for a couple of days but since talking about it to some of my newfound PP twitter and facebook friends I am now feeling so much better about it all. It’s healing me and it’s about time. I have now watched the episode about 25 times and each time I watch it, it sends a sense of healing. I know that sounds strange but instead of feeling like Charlotte now, I feel like her survivor friend trying to encourage and support her by telling Charlotte everything will be okay. So this explains my outrageous PP facebook explosion on my personal Facebook profile page. It is helping me and helping others to talk about the episode and future episodes as a way of giving the sense of relief to survivors. I know it has for me anyway.

To the ones I have talked too and who have expressed suicidal thoughts, please, please do not go down that path and if you have already, now it is time to stop and get help. You can always talk to me and I will do what I can to help you get through this and just know that it is not your fault. It's never too late to come forward, so be brave like me and let's not let the attackers destroy who we are. Us survivors need to stick together. If you have any questions please feel free to ask me but I recommend you contact RAINN as they are professionals and are a great organization.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotlines (800.656.HOPE or online.rainn.org). You are not alone; it is never too late to get help!
www.rainn.org
They also have an online helpline Chat too. Please, you owe it to yourself to get the help you need, just like me!